In what is supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life I am finding myself in what has to be one of the worst depressions I have ever been in.
I did good for awhile, but slowly and surely I've gone deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. Its affecting my life and has me worried for Baby Boy. Depression while pregnant is not good for growth and can escalate to postpartum depression if gone unchecked.
Jonathan and I are talking to the doctor on Tuesday about what I can do to keep it in check and hopefully get rid of it altogether. I keep panicking and crying and going out of my mind for no reason and over every little thing.
We're moving into Jon's parents house this week to help us get to a better place financially, but I know it's been the straw that broke the camel's back for me. I feel like I've already failed to provide our own home for our baby, that I'm not good enough to raise our baby. He's been such a blessing to us and I continually fail him and his father.
They deserve so much better then me.
