Its me!!

Lately I have been feeling this crushing weight. This unbearable sadness that I can't explain or umderstand. This time of my life should be so exciting and fun and I feel completely not a part of it. I'm putting this front. This wall of "everything is okay" so as to keep everyone at a distance. Truth is I want to dissappear. To just vanish and be on my own. I am tired of trying and working for nothing when no one else is helping. How did I get here? Why do I feel alone even when I am surrounded? Can it be that I really am? Todays lesson is that no one is more profoundly sad than one who laughs too much.

New beginnings

Well people I am sitting at home wishing Robert was here to snuggle with me. My roomies are off with their boyfriends and I am sitting here without mine...again. Sad sad day. I am thinking about calling him and getting him over here. Its raining and quite windy which is odd for july. 
The weather has been stormy all week which is nice to not have triple digits but golly it sucks with the humidity!!! I think I have found my true calling though. I am going to pursue a degree in photography. I have really been enjoying editing the photos I took of Charlie and Eden's wedding and that day I had such a blast taking photos. I noticed that I am taking a lot of pride in my work and I am looking forward to their reactions. Hopefully they like them!!!!
I have been thinking of going to Switzerland for a year. Maybe take some french classes and go to school out there. I am looking into it, but am also considering England. I asked Robert if he would consider going with me. I think he might depending on what I come up with.
Work has been great with being a manager and all. I am going to be taking the classes soon so yay pay raises and yay experience!!! I already open and close by myself. I am going to stick with it as best I can and hopefully something comes of it. I feel good where I am at with work and now with the photography I think I have finally settled into something good for me. Huzzah!!!