House Arrest...

Or at least that is what it feels like. Baby Saunders is trying to make a break for it at 32 weeks so I've been placed on bedrest until he gets here which hopefully isn't for at least six more weeks.

SIX MORE WEEKS!!!!

Good golly that is a long time when all you can do is watch tv, sleep, go potty, and eat! I would have added reading on there but the medicine I have to take to prevent contractions makes me dizzy so I can only manage a couple pages at a time before feeling loopy. :( I'm stalking pinterest like it is going out of style and hopefully on tuesday when we go to see the doctor I can convince the husband to take me to get some crafting supplies at wal-mart before heading home. There are some craft ideas that I want to attempt to make, because if I am going to be confined to my bed for weeks I am going to at least do something to make me feel like a productive member of society...or at least this household! I've been thinking of taking up crocheting again, making some wreaths, and a few other ideas that look easy to do and would make really cute gifts for people! For now though I am fine with my pinterest and netflix shows, but if we can keep this baby cooking until the right time to be born, I am going to get bored of television real quick. I will keep trying to read, but I am not confident it'll work out too well especially since typing right now is making me feel a bit dizzy.  I plan on posting ways that I am making this bedrest productive on this blog as a means for others who are in my position. I know this has mainly been a personal blog up until now, and I will keep it that way, but I want to start sharing a lot of the daily adventures I have with people. We were getting into cooking some awesome recipes and stuff like that that can be shared and posted.  I'll be making my own silver lining of this situation.

I realize that it has been awhile since I posted so I guess since I have all this time now I can update this blog and keep it going a bit better. Look forward to the posts I'll be making within the next couple of days. I'll be catching everyone up from where we left off to now!
For now I need to lay down for a bit since I've been awake most of the day talking with the in-laws and even had a visit from my own Mother Unit!

Depressed

In what is supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life I am finding myself in what has to be one of the worst depressions I have ever been in.
I did good for awhile, but slowly and surely I've gone deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole. Its affecting my life and has me worried for Baby Boy. Depression while pregnant is not good for growth and can escalate to postpartum depression if gone unchecked.
Jonathan and I are talking to the doctor on Tuesday about what I can do to keep it in check and hopefully get rid of it altogether. I keep panicking and crying and going out of my mind for no reason and over every little thing.
We're moving into Jon's parents house this week to help us get to a better place financially, but I know it's been the straw that broke the camel's back for me. I feel like I've already failed to provide our own home for our baby, that I'm not good enough to raise our baby. He's been such a blessing to us and I continually fail him and his father.

They deserve so much better then me.

It's happened...

I know most of you who read this blog already know this, but Jonathan and I are expecting our first child together!!

We found out on March 30, 2014 and proudly told our families on April Fools Day...after some convincing they believed us and were super excited about it! Surprisingly we kept it pretty hush hush until Mother's Day when we posted the announcement on facebook.

Right now I'm at 13 weeks which means next week I'll be in my second trimester! I have my next appointment this coming Monday and I'm super excited for the update! Four weeks between appointments is WAY too long for my taste because I'm too excited about all of this and I get scared because of all the cramping and spotting I get.

I know it's normal,but I can't help but panic sometimes haha poor Jonathan has to deal with my crazy emotions all the time. I cry over everything and even when I've been laughing I start crying. Luckily I don't have morning sickness...sometimes I get sick depending on what I ate but overall I don't get ill.

I'll update y'all more as time goes on. This mama needs a nap.

What the hell is PCO?

**Post may contain TMI**

So at the start of the year I was (and still am) experiencing cramping that wasn't previously common in my life outside of the start of my period. Usually I can take some Tylenol or ibuprofen and it goes away. This time though the cramping was and still is a random and persistent nuisance. I'm not usually big on going to see a doctor, but when I had cramping actually wake me up in the middle of the night I knew something wasn't right.
I made the appointment and had to endure the wait (a few weeks) before I could get answers. The pain continued, but on a lesser level after my period started. By the time I was on the exam room table I forgot about the pain until my wonderful doctor poked the wrong places and made me wince. Blood was drawn and my first ultrasound ever was scheduled. All day after my appointment though I felt bruised and battered, like I had had someone kick me right in the uterus. He had been gentle, but it still left me in pain after. The ultrasound went just as well....oh mama did it HURT. I knew exactly what side of my uterus was looking at by the side the pain was on. It was so unpleasant.

A few days later they told me my thyroid test came back normal (so my being overweight was just my fatty ways) and a few more weeks after that I ended up getting a call that my ultrasound revealed I have polycystic ovaries. The cramping is caused by that, the nausea from the pain is caused by that, the heavy periods, and all around pain in general is caused by my polycystic ovaries.

Online research doesn't do much to help shed light on this particular condition, as most people with PCO are diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and most information regards the syndrome as a whole. What is alarming though is I exhibit another symptom that PCOS sufferers experience...the problem is that my doctor didn't see it because it's embarrassing and so I made sure to shave. See I've got hair growth around my belly button and chest that should not be there, it's dark and has started growing the past couple of years. I regularly shave because it's weird to me and it's just awkward. Also my hair is thinning out. I shed so much it is ridiculous and annoying. So it has me particularly alarmed that I perhaps have PCOS and not just the polycystic ovaries.

Now I'm not going to self diagnose, I just want to try and manage the pain I experience and handle the hair loss/ growth in weird places while perhaps avoiding the infertility issues that can arise. My first step towards that has been working out and trying to lose weight. My doctor suggested it and any sites have that as a first step towards treating the pain issues. Another treatment is birth control, but it's usually when women aren't having periods/ to control flow.
I'll be posting updates as I go along. So far I've lost five pounds, but the cramping is still persistent. It comes and goes, but so far I don't have an exact cause for why it comes. The other day it hurt hours after having sex and usually will be hurting all night after I've worked all day.

I'm going to try some essential oils to see if it helps, but that's a post for another day. Ttyl y'all!

Adventures in Cooking Part Two

I'm thinking about posting our cooking shenanigans since we have quite a few of these delicious hijinks that occur...might be fun.

Anyways tonight's dinner was inspired from a pinterest post. We varied from what was used because that's what we do. So here's our version of this simple and easy crockpot meal.

2 frozen chicken breasts
1 Can of corn
1 can of Green beans
1 can of mild rotel with green chiles
I 8 oz package of cream cheese
I bag of seashell pasta

Combine all ingredients except pasta into slowcooker and set on high for 4 hours or low for 6-8 hours. Once ready let sit for 30 minutes to let it thicken. While sitting cook pasta according to the directions on package. Add pasta to the crockpot and Voila! Its ready to eat!

It was more than enough for two people and was incredibly delicious. The hubby added salt and pepper to his and I enjoyed mine as it was made. Either way it worked and was filling after one helping.

Feel free to share any changes you might make to it!

Adventures of Cooking

Tonight I am making a surprise dinner for my husband and I am thrilled to see how it turns out!

Red mashed potatoes(from a bag), stuffed chicken breasts wrapped in.bacon(bought from the store meat department), and stuffed biscuits (pinterest recipe)!!!

All but the biscuits are something I don't really have to work on. Pop it into the oven or microwave and boom it's done. But the thing I'm most excited for is in fact the biscuits. Delicious mozzarella rolled into the dough with olive oil brushed on top with parmesan and garlic powder. Oh.My.Fudge. It smells delicious as they're baking and I can not wait until I am able to gobble them down.

I'm half tempted to just have the chicken and the biscuits since there's quite a few of them....yes that sounds like a good idea. Husband is getting chicken and biscuits...maybe canned veggies.

This homemaking thing is catching on. Oh I love cooking for him.

He's funny.

I've decided that my husband is a funny and sweet guy, whether he will admit it or not. Every passing day he surprises me by just how affectionate he is. He is a big pain in my butt, but for the most part he is this charming nurturing man. For example we went and got hot chocolate from the local gas station (mainly because we are idiots) and soon after we were both feeling sick and gross from drinking the sludge. While he was suffering as much as I was he spent that time comforting me as I have been so emotional lately I was crying from it. He's been doing a lot of that lately, being comforting. He sends me uplifting messages while I'm at work and goes out of his way to make sure I am feeling loved.
I say all of this because last night he told me something that brought a whole new level to our relationship and marriage. I'm not sharing what because that's between us, but I couldn't helpful think about how even though I constantly share such thoughts and he knows what I'm thinking, when he shares it always brings this new element to us. We constantly ask each other what we're thinking and he never fails to make me smile.
If anyone asks me what the success to our marriage is and has been I would have to say the honesty we share and that we strive to make each other happy.

Husband bragging moment over!