A trap most foul...

Scene:The front entry way of my house. Late evening, with a slight breeze in the air. A lone figure trudges up the walkway, purse in hand, after a closing shift at work. Little does our heroine know there is foulplay afoot.

ACTION!

Walking up to the door after getting home from work I happened to notice a thin line floating prettily in the air, reflecting the blue lights on our porch. My body instantly springs into a defensive ninja pose as the horror of what that strand is dawns on me. SPIDER WEB!
*le gasp*
My arms flail wildly as I look around panicked, searching for a sign of it's creator. Stealthily I peer upwards, my eyes filling with terror at the sight of the massive web mere inches from my head. I knew it could only have been the work of either one very large arachnid specimen or a whole army of tiny ones (we all know the larger ones are rogues). Either way I saw the situation for what it truly was.

A trap.

My archnemesis, the arachnid, knew I would be coming home late and would be tired. The trap was set, but the prey was not as easily caught! I am hispanic and russian(on my father's side) mixed with german and pacific islander (good ole mum), a long line of people who know how to limbo...
Side note: I am well aware that the Limbo originates is Jamaica or somewhere carribean. I digress.

Swiftly, as to not even touch the web, I limboed my way under the foul trap and hastily reached for the door only to find it locked! "What in the blazes?" I think in my head as I try to remember the last time my parents had ever locked the door. All of a sudden it hit me like a scorned woman. THEY WERE IN ON IT!!! I stood momentarily frozen pondering the ever growing web of lies, drowning in a pool of deceit. When all hope seemed lost a lightbulb of "Eureka" illuminated my mind and my next move was clear. Still in limbo position I reached into my purse, fumbling and suddenly...

Hark! What is this? A key?

Quicker than I have ever moved before I unceremoniously shoved the key into the lock and after what seemed an eternity the door opened, releasing me from my predicament and into another as I had alerted the ever faithful, yet annoying Auzzie Pawzzie...a dog as frightening as his name. With a quick "¡Callate!" I sent him back to his sleeping spot and I threw the treats I had brought my family onto the counter, wondering if there were any more traps set for me.

I slowly trudged upstairs and upon entering my room I felt my body relax and the anxiety from before slip away.

That my friends is how I effectively avoided certain death. Goodnight.