Welcome to the new roomie!

Well the fourth of us has finally move in which means I don't get the bathroom to myself anymore, but that also means I am not the only one who has to clean it either! See there is an up to every down. Actually I don't mind sharing it with my new roommate. She is an awesome girl as far as I can tell and we get along fairly easily and I think I could honestly become friends with her which is saying a lot for me.
Cleaning checks were today and sadly we did not pass all of them....ugh one bathroom (NOT mine) failed and no one cleaned the microwave or the stove so I gotta clean that before friday comes around. Other than that we passed everything else so YAY!!! I went to Wal Mart today with Roy to get cleaning supplies and what not and we randomly ran into Dennis! How fun is that?! I am trying to get Dennis to do Institute Choir with Joey and I in the afternoons instead of at night because we are cool like that. OH! I finally got some picture frames for that stuff I got from Deseret Book and hung them up on the walls...finally the apartment looks like people actually live in it AND it smells really pretty thanks to MOI buying scenty stuff.
Work is going good...well actually I got called f-ing worthless on saturday and this guy threatened to call the cops but besides that it couldn't be better! Colton started working today and one of my FHE sons (I AM FHE MOMMY!!!) is applying to work there! For serious that would be cool if he worked there. I honestly couldn't ask for a better FHE family....they are all so amazing and funny.
I struggle with feelings of inadequacy though...I know I am faulted but I am trying to overcome those faults and live a productive life. I am so gratefull for all I have been given and I can't wait to start school in the Winter. I really miss being in classes. I am glad to be going to Institue classes though. At least I can learn and spiritually grow at the same time!

What a Fool I am!

I had the chance to possibly find myself with a guy in the army and I didn't have the cajones to go up to him and give him my number even though I am pretty sure there was something there between us. I mean something told me to talk to him and I practically wanted to jump out of the car and give him my number which is very uncharacteristic for me. Oh my fetch what if I met one of the guys I could spend forever with and I let him walk out of my life just because I am too self conscience!!!!! Crap on a stick this is ridiculous!

I went to Panda Express with the FHE Hermanas and as we were leaving I spotted said cutie sitting and eating alone in his U.S. Army Uniform and oddly enough I randomly started talking to him asking him what branch of the military he was in and I was telling him about my friends who are in the military...he seemed surprised and happy that I was talking to him and I wanted so much to sit down and chat with him longer but the girls were already outside and in the car so I very ungracefully had to take my leave of him and I almost fainted when I saw him watching me leave through the window of Pande Express (I left through the door he watched through the window). He actually was leaving at the same time it turns out and I was almost wanting to cry when he got too far to randomly stop him and give him my number and my name. A NAME! I didn't even ask him for his name! Barnacles!!!!!!

What I fool I am! That fireside tonight about dating and sending out radar pings taught me NOTHING!!!! Well it did teach me but that doesn't mean I retained any of it....ugh I hate my life sometimes.

Ode to Purrle...

Oh precious ball of black fluff and claws how you are missed! You went one day outside to play but never returned again. For six years we fed and housed you making wide berth around you when you were in one of your moods. You cat were more than just a cat...you were a way of life an independent creature unafraid to tease dogs or wander from home. Many small creatures fell prey to your superior hunting skills and the other cats in the home always learned a lesson from you when they dared to try and challenge your authority. You nuzzler of ears and cuddler of the night! How your sweet purrs would wake me from my slumber when somehow you managed to stay in my room unnoticed before bed. I can still feel your paws wrapped around my neeck as you tried to get in closer to my ear. How you enjoyed attacking my feet whenever they would move under the blankets! Getting to pet you was a privilege and for all intensive purposes you owned us, not the other way around. You were a proud and fierce cat with a surprising yet rare sweet side....generally when no one else was looking. Purrle I remember the day we got you. Your eyes were blue and you had the most pitiful littel cry ever. As you grew you endured many things like when Erica dressed you up as a jedi and surprisingly that doll robe fit you well! You traveled with us to Moapa and you settled in quite nicely there. I am sad that you are gone, but you are not forgotten! I love and miss you Purrle!

*We had Purrle from 2006-2009. I know I sound like a crazy cat lady but when you ahve had an animal that you have genuinely cared about it is a sad thing to lose them...especially when they just disappear and most likely was eaten by coyotes.*

I submit...

I am a lazy bum and I refuse to delete all previous posts about Colton and myself. Simply ignore them because I know I do! I don't bear any ill will towards Colton and in fact I do value our friendship.

Like I said I simply am just too lazy to delete anything...

The Perfect Guy

I need a guy who actually WANTS to be with me and actually LOVES me...not just thinks he does but actually does in fact think the sun shines out of my rear. I know I am not perfect but honestly what are the chances that I would end up with guys who either just magically overnight fall out of love with me or they just aren't in a place in their life where they are capable of feeling anything for anyone but themselves?! For once I want someone to fight for me instead of me fighting for some guy who won't give me the time of day. I see all these girls with guys and I can't help but think that they must of had some Divine Intervention with that because honestly how does someone meet the person they are going to spend eternity with in such a short amount of time whilst I am sitting here perfectly capable of having a decently wonderful relationship with no guys even glancing at me.
That is another thing! What is with these guys always chasing the skinnier ditzy girls who don't even really care about them? And than they go complaining to girls like me who are always there to talk to and are in fact better for them than those skanks who think all guys are their playthings? Now sorry to any of you who have been offended by this...especially if you yourself are one of those said skanks, but really can't you give us other girls a chance? Stop toying with guys and screwing your fellow sisters over! I just for once want a guy to overlook some drop dead gorgeous girl and look at me and realize what he has been missing his entire life....okay so maybe not that dramatic but hey a girl can dream!
I know I am not anyone special or significant enough to really have an opinion that matters but honestly I just don't care anymore. I want my voice heard and so help me it will be! I am sick and tired of people's messed up opinions on what makes a woman or what we should look like. I spent most of my life feeling awkward and ugly because of what people have told me, but this has got to stop! EVERY woman, girl, young adult female, whoever is beautiful in their own way, shape, and form. Anyone who would tell us otherwise could suck my big toe for all I care. Who asked them anyways?

Work Work Work

Got the job at Dialogue and I enjoy it actually. Colton and I got in a fight this week but we made up...he realized he has been acting like a creep ever since he got home.
I am really tired right now so yeah I will write more tomorrow when i am not dead to the world hahaha I promise.

My Apologies

Wow talk about not writing for awhile...it's been what? Like almost two months? SHEESH you people have probably just been DYING to know what is going on in my life...okay maybe not but here let me fill you in.

Colton and I tried things out and it didn't work so we went back to being really weird friends and I moved up to Provo to start my new life away from any safety net and I am currently preparing to serve a mission (which wouldn't be til next year), despite the doubts some people have about me being single that long because let's face it...I moved to the LDS breeding grounds without a significant other already. To put it lightly I am doomed. But than again most people underestimate my ability to get the things I really want so I may end up on a mission afterall!

Tomorrow I have a job interview for Dialogue Marketing which means if I get the job I will be working with Jenny, Joey, and Rob!! WOOT WOOT! hahaha talk about EPIC! Anyways life in Provo is going really well and I am excited.