So it appears that I am one of the guys out here. My mom was talking to me about how the guys are totally fine hanging out with me and whatever, but dating me? No.
Charlie has taken me out on a date and he would ask me out if I would let him, but I really am not for that. It isn't anything against him, he really is a great guy and one of my closest friends, but I just can't date him. I really do think of him as a brother.
I broke down crying today because I am really upset with the guys out here. I mean I get it...I pretty much am one of those guys with how I act and think. I mean seriously I can hold my own with them and most of the girls out here can't. I honestly think I scare them or something. Maybe I should back off from hanging out with them or whatever, because obviously me hanging out with them a lot has put some kind of stamp on my forehead.
Some people would suggest that maybe I need to change myself or things about myself, now I am changing things I don't like about myself, but I am not doing a complete personality makeover just to impress some guys. If they want to get involved with me they need to get involved with who I really am. That's just kind of what has been on my mind today.
Well I am off now.
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