Sunday, October 16, 2011

People say

There is nothing more attractive than someone who is confident in themselves. Someone who knows how to hold themselves and how to show those around them that they love them.

I am not that person. I look at my relationships with people and I can only think that they deserve better. One day everyone is going to wake up to the reality I have known for years and they are going to see the ugly that has become me. I am alone in a crowded life. I know I am loved and people care about me but no matter how hard I try I can't make myself be as happy as I should be. I hate myself for it. I don't deserve any of these wonderful, caring people.

It is a dark night in my mind tonight.

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