Where I Proved My Depression

Taking an abnormal Psychology class is proving to be a bit...depressing. Today our professor asked us on a scale of 1 to 10 how the class would rate us on how much they liked us. He asked who thought it was a 7 or an 8 and EVERYONE BUT ME raised their hands and he looked at me and asked me what I thought and I said that on average most people would rate me and everyone else (since they don't know them) a 5 or a 6. Than he looks at the rest of the class and asks if I am correct. Everyone agreed that they would rate everyone else a 5 or a 6. I thought "Oh cool, I totally got that one right." BUT then he continues with "Most normal thinking tend to think 7 or 8 because they are blowing smoke up their ass, but that type of thinking is generally healthy. Those who rate themselves at a 5 or a 6 rate themselves that way because they are clinically depressed and are lacking that ability to trump themselves up to themselves."

Touche abnormal psychology professor touche. He did apologize for putting it so bluntly and then he asked me if he was correct. What was I going to do? Lie? The man had called me out on my own disorder in front of the entire class. Was my answer supposed to be "No I am just a pessimist"? OF COURSE I told him he was correct, but talk about a harsh slap of reality. I mean there I am sitting with my usual thinking and BOOM I get this reminder that my "normal" is in fact "abnormal".

*sigh* Than we started talking about how I got to that diagnosis and blah blah blah and when it came to the fact that depression runs in BOTH sides of my family he asked me what the trigger was that started the clinical depression and I told him that I had an abusive childhood. He had to explain to the class that I had been born ready to be depressed and I could have managed my whole life without the clinical depression and just having the normal blues, but my environment triggered the chemical imbalance and now there I was sitting in his class, a living breathing case study for these undergraduate students.
My sudden fame is not suiting me at all. I mean, I beat out the postpartum depression lady and the guy with OCD. I would rather drift back into my corner of obscurity and just pass the class without any real big things like that but oh no I opened my mouth with honesty and now there are like 30 some odd strangers who find me fascinating and not for the right reasons.

Sometimes my brain to mouth filter needs to work quicker.