Sunday, March 20, 2011

Really now?

So I am sick. I have a bacterial sinus infection which means I am contagiously sick. I work at a restaurant where I handle food and interact with people. Being contagious is a health risk and I can't work in that environment otherwise others will get sick. Stupid me forgot to get a doctor's note because I was more concerned about getting the medication he prescribed. I went to the local pharmacy and was waiting for it to open (got there during their lunch break) when I run into some people I know. Hey it's a small town, it was bound to happen. We chat it up for a bit and reminisce about the weekend's events and than we seperate and get what we need. I turn in my prescription and grab a box of mucinex and they grab donuts (pharmacy and the only town grocery store combined). We pay together and than leave. I call into work letting them know that I can't work and won't be coming in. The manager says he will help me out and calls the store manager. Simple enough right? WRONG! Apparently my little trip to the pharmacy was seen by the store manager and since I was seen talking to people that I apparently knew (and in a town with no stoplights it is easy to know everyone) I was not sick in their eyes. In fact I was healthy enough to work since I was healthy enough to be out in public! GAH!!! So I call people to try and get them to cover my shift but noooooo everyone has plans. Like....really...the one time I call in to work sick or call anyone to cover my shift no one can cover for me and I can't stay home. What kind of rudeness is that? I mean I have switched shifs, worked later for people, and even come in on days off but NO ONE can do the same for me? What in the hell?

So my mom confiscated my phone and left a voicemail for those who would call to hear letting everyone know that I am not fit to work right now or to hang out. I love her. The meds make me so sleepy and I can't drive or operate heavy machinery. Whoopee right? I am going in on Monday to get that Doctor's note just so they can't say I was playing hooky from work. Seriosuly I dropped like 100 dollars on meds. No way in hell would I be paying that much just to not go to work. In other news though I have managed to get my tax return filed for this year and should be getting the money this week or next, which is just in time for the whole me moving in thing hahaha which is still happening! I am so excited and I can't wait! Barbara wants to move stuff in this week, which I hope to be able to do. I am going up to Provo on Thursday for Roy's wedding and I am super excited about it!!!

Despite being sick, things are looking up.

Oh and to those that think "If she can blog she isn't sick" really now? Typing is not that difficult to do. Look at those who drunk text. A monkey can type.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Best Thing

It's been almost a year since we started dating and I can't express how much my life has changed and been bettered by him. We started out as friends and that friendship grew. I know I kind of threw myself at him shamelessly at times, and rather straightforwardly told him how I felt about him. I even asked him on a pseudo-date to Las Vegas without even telling him it was a date! That day was amazingly fun and I realized that I spent the entire time talking to him and sharing things. I opened up in a way I hadn't with any other guy. I fell in love with him that day.
We've grown together as time has gone on and we have defied the predictions others had of how long we would last. Our friendship is a great one and our relationship has been a high point in my life. He is the one constant in my life. The one thing (well person) I have come to rely on in my hectic and ever changing life. He really is probably the best I will ever get. Of course I will probably end up looking stupid if we end up breaking up, but for right now, at this very moment in the timeline of my life I can say with all my heart that I love him.
My favorite of us.
I know I am not the perfect girlfriend or the perfect person. Sometimes (most of the time) I can be a handful and I know my romantic tendencies and delusions often get ahead of me. I try though and I can only hope that he knows that.

Robert if you are reading this, I love you and I want you to be happy no matter what that might mean for me or for us.

Adventures in Hair Dying

My hair before.
My hair after

I wouldn't call my hair dying adventure a complete success since it was supposed to turn out a reddish brown, but I wouldn't call it a failure since I managed to not burn it all off and it looks pretty cute if I say so myself. My hair turned out a bit darker than usual, but I have gotten some good reviews from it so I am pleased. I used the Nice and Easy hair dying kit from Clairol. True to word it is easy! You just pour one part of the mix into the other, shake it up, pump dye into gloved hand, and run it all through your DRY hair. 25 minutes later BAM! New hair color!

I learned my lesson about cutting my hair by myself (I ended up looking like a boy) and decided never to do that again, but dying my hair is another story. I am no longer scared by the thought of it and am definitely going to continue this trend...at least there will be breaks in between so I am not dying the dye!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Slim in 6...maybe

So I've had some recent inspiration to lose the weight I have gained and to get into shape. It really is a personal choice, but also having a more active lifestyle and going out into public more has made me realize just how much I let myself go. I have gained 30 lbs in four years.That is almost ten lbs a year! GAH! So Today marks the day of change. I have said goodbye to all that was holding me back as far as eating and drinking goes. That means I can no longer have any late night Maverik runs with Barbara or if I go out with people I can't eat too much bad food. So if I go and have Pizza Hut or something that means I gotta do some extra work to make sure I am not set back too much.

My workout routine will be based off of the Slim in 6 series by Debbie Siebers. It will be hard, but worth it. It is two weeks on the "Start it up" and than two on the "Ramp it up" and than the last two weeks on the "Burn it up" I am thinking of doing a pyramid thing where once I finish the two burn it up weeks I am going to do two more weeks of ramp it up and than move down to two more weeks of start it up. Every Other day I am going to be doing the Slim in 6 pack routine and than on days I don't do that I am going to be doing Yoga Dance Fusion with Patricia Moreno. What I can tell you is that I am going to be SORE SORE SORE but it will be totally worth it!

Today I am starting some stretching and than the first "Start it up" day and than doing the 6 pack routine. I have done both before and let me tell you that I want to punch Debbie by the end of it, but at the same time I know I got a good workout. It is some light cardio and strength training. The moves make you use muscles you didn't even know you had! And the best part is that it is simple moves that can be done anywhere! I know that the few times that I have done it (inconsistently) that I have lost a lb or two during the workout itself. I would suggest wearing shoes though because with the resistance band it can hurt bare feet, but other than that you aren't being too hard on your knees or joints which is great for me since I have to be careful with my knees.

I am also going to be walking more and slowly but surely working my way up to running. I know that by balancing my working out with a healthy diet I will lose the weight the right way and I won't risk my health by going crazy with it! I weight 195 lbs right now. It doesn't really look like it, but that is because I hide it pretty well. I carry my weight in my stomach area, thighs, and it is slowly creeping into my face. My main goal is to get into the healthy weight range of 145 to 150 lbs. The lowest I should weigh is 125, but I would rather be on the safer side. 140 is the lowest I want to go. I am not looking to be super skinny. I just want to get into shape and not have knee problems because there is too much weight or pressure on them. Also my emotional health will increase by doing this. Let's just hope that I don't die from lack of soda!

But hey what doesn't kill us makes us hotter right?

Contagiously Awesome.

I talked to Jaren today. It was two nice conversations of catching up and just chit chatting. We even got our spanish on. It is so weird because I remember way back when I knew more spanish than he did, but now I am the one who needs a dictionary!!!! It is amazing how easy our conversations went and not awkward they were. I thought maybe there would be some but not at all! As it turns out he did write me back while in Mexico! I just didn't get the letters! Wow and to think that I stopped writing a whole lot because I thought he didn't want to hear from me. Pfft well consider that lesson learned.....a little too late, but that is okay!

Miracle League training is tomorrow and I am so completely excited! I missed last season and I was very sad, but now that I can participate this season I am very happy! Miracle League is such a great organization to be a part of and it is a great way to spend Saturday mornings! Miracle League is a Baseball program that allows people with disabilities (whether mental or physical) to play baseball. The field is this special turf that allows those with wheelchairs or other mobility devices to move around with ease. Everyone on a team gets to hit the play whether on a tee or pitched too and everyone gets to run home! Every team wins. It is so great. Buddies (that's me!) help the players with the game, either protecting them from the ball if it might hit the player or helping them to swing or even helping them to run to the bases. I usually have ended up with players that like to move around a whole lot so I am constantly running and playing with them. One of the players even proposed to me! hahaha it is always so much fun and everyone is always smiling and enjoying the game. The hot dogs are pretty good too. :)

This Sunday I don't have to work so guess where I am going?! CHURCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!! Yeah Can you tell I am pumped? I have been studying Preach My Gospel and have been working on praying more. It totally has helped me out a whole lot. I can feel Heavenly Father's influence in my life and I can see the small daily miracles that are right before my eyes. I am so grateful for this gospel and I know that awhile back I was questioning and actually considerng leaving, but I am so glad that I didn't!!!!!!!! I am striving to live better and to be a better person. It is so not as easy as it sounds and I can guarantee that I will most likely fail at times, but I know that with persistence I will soon be back on track! HUZZAH!

So on the way to work today I was driving by the softball fields when I see this familiar car driving towards me and as I got closer I realized that it was Robert. So imagine me waving like a dork with this ridiculous looking face on and you pretty much can see why he caught the bug and did the same thing. Yes I know. I am contagiously awesome.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Confession time..in code

A lot of how I get through life is by thinking "what would I really like to do?" and than I go with whatever is opposite that, because my ID impulses are the ones that would get me into loads of trouble and would end up hurting people. Even when I am happy it is generally because I am have those around me happy. I am too damn accomodating sometimes. Like for instance right now I really want to do this one thing irregardless of the consequences because for far too long I have done whatever would make everyone else happy. I have been afraid of stepping on eggshells or creating waves, but right now I would like to march up to someone hand them a box and say "Read it and tell me that all of this wasn't a lie!" And than I just want to take them and....well...I haven't quite gotten there yet, but I am sure my ID would fill in the blank. Instead I am actually just going to do nothing...but wait....and wait....and wait some more before nothing happens. I am going to do what I should do and not what I want to do. The best part is that I don't even know what is going to happen. The best guess is nothing. Life will continue on in this course and it won't be something of a whirlwind adventure or suspense film. It will be as it is.

And that is the problem. Tomorrow so much changes and needs to change. There needs to be an awakening, a closeness that is brought into existence otherwise I am going to let my dear friend ID takeover and it won't be pretty. Of Course ID will be nice, but I'm done being the doormat. I'm done saying "I don't care" or putting the other person in front. It isn't their fault. It is actually me and my weird compulsion to please everyone. I sicken myself. Tomorrow the good sweet angelic Nadia is going away and the Impulsive, slightly reckless Nadia is coming out to play for an evening. It probably isn't the best idea and I probably will end up very unhappy in the end of the evening, but I am going to risk it. I am going to put myself out there into the void and yell "HERE I AM!!! TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT!!!!!!!!!"

Tomorrow is the day where an understanding will either occur or the world as we (you the reader and myself) have come to enjoy will end. So sleep well and come back for an update. Adieu!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Picture time!

My car was marked!!!
This makes me laugh everytime haha we went skating not too long ago
My sister turned 20!!!! GAH!!!

Just some pictures from the last couple of months...so there are only three but whatevers!

The first one is the art work of the ever awesome Zach Brough right before he moved to Utah. He marked all four sides of my car. I thought the lovely heads were adorable haha Robert and I were in the car and he did this while we went into Lin's.

The second one is from a Single's Activity Robert and I went to. Roller Skating in Mesquite. It was pretty fun and we enjoyed ourselves and the company. This picture just makes me laugh. He can be such a goofball sometimes.

The third one is just about one of the only nice pics we got of Erica and her cake. She is such a butt! Love her though and I am so glad we are close in age!

Two Roads Diverged

The reason why I say it is at a crossroads is because I feel like something big is going to happen and I know it's going to just mess up everything I have going on. Mess up doesn't necessarily mean a bad mess up, but it just means I either have to change my destination or make a detour. There is a lot of confusion right now about where I stand with someone and I am going to try and make that person realize that I am confused.


It doesn't help when you tell someone everything about how you feel or where you stand and they don't reciprocate. It is hard when you can go a week without realizing you haven't seen that person face to face. Sure talking on the phone, but what ever happened to being closely connected with someone? I feel like I have lost my groove with this person, like I am disconnected from them. My thinking has changed slowly and I have to keep reminding myself of how I should be thinking. It is not good when your best friend even acts like you aren't with that person anymore. I know in my heart I still am, but at the same time my heart is the one trying to let go. I realize I am probably asking a lot, but I am one of those people who wants to be fought for, or to have the effort shown that I am wanted in someone's life. I am a completely hopeless romantic. So I don't need flowers every week or a fiery kiss when fireworks go off, but I do enjoy things like kisses that are fiery and passionate and last more than a second or even someone saying "You look beautiful" or saying "I love you" without me saying it first. I am not complaining here. I am merely stating what I like in a relationship. I have been in a few and I have to say that the things I liked consistently in them were that the guys made their affections known and almost on a daily basis...now there is a line between affectionate and clingy...some crossed it, but others maintained it really well. I like knowing that a guy wants to keep me around and that he thinks about a future with me and one that extends to beyond "what are we doing tomorrow?" I think that is one of my biggest peeves. I take the time to look and see if I could have a future with someone. If one day (and not like way waaaaaaaaaaaay in the future) we could be married and all that. Picket fence and rugrats. The Works. But when someone doesn't even think about if we will be together in a year or so? It really makes me question why we are even together. I am not talking about my current relationship. I am actually just talking in general, because I hear what people say or talk about and generally that is one of the biggest complaints. I won't always be there, I don't want whoever I am with to just ASSUME that they can live their life and not try and keep me in it and I mean really try. Courtship doesn't end after a certain amount of time...it doesn't even end after marriage.

If by a year you don't know if you could spend the rest of your life (or eternity for that matter) with someone...what the hell are you doing still with them? I mean yes you can love someone but I really think that if you can't commit to getting married than why be with them? I do know there are reasons like distance and sometimes people want to finish school, but generally there is an understanding that marriage will happen. You don't date someone for 4 or 5 years and than be like "well thanks for your time. See ya!" My sister and her boyfriend have been dating for a few years now and do the long distance thing, but they even know they are getting married. Its casual conversation with them. We were eating at a macaroni place and my sister said "They are so catering our wedding" and he just responded about flying them out or ordering and it was so natural. They aren't getting married for a few years still but really now....they are committed. They have an understanding. I could live with an understanding. I really could, but when there is not talk about it or even any indication that it has been thought about than that's where I start to get my feathers a bit ruffled. I want to know that I am important and that someone wants me in their immediate and distant future. I don't want to wait like a gagillion years (okay so lets just say two years is kinda my max without a ring or some kind of understanding) for someone to finally say "okay I want to marry you" Hell to the No would I spend that much time just hoping and wishing that they will take that step.

Seriously I already know, in my current relationship, that I would say yes...in a heartbeat I would. But you see this is because I have actually considered it. Has he? I don't know! I can only gues that it is a no, because we don't talk about it...well we did and last time it was kind of ended like "So where does that leave us?" Which we all know is NEVER a good thing. Of course idk if he really knows that if he wanted to drive down to Vegas (since its like 45 away) and get married that I would be like...give me a min to pack. But even if he did I wouldn't know!

So where the tow roads comes in is either I continue down this path (after telling him all of the above) and seeing where I end up (after he and I discuss HEAVILY what I have said above) or we end up reverting to the friend phase and I take the other road alone. Of course I am rather prefering the other road and traveling with him (since I have just stated I would totally marry the guy), but I am also prepared to take the other if it is in the best interest of us both.

I only hope that this goes well.

Changing Directions

Barbara and I are moving out of our homes and into an apartment with three other girls. Oh gosh I can imagine my mom reading this right now...hopefully I get to her before she sees this! We have been discussing this for some time especially since Barbara isn't going back to school for a bit and we both really want to do this. Rent is really cheap and the apartment is really nice and it is righ across the street from where I work! Also Barbara is going to help me get a job at Wally's so I can have two jobs!!! I have mapped out my financial situation and it is looking really REALLY good. I know that handling that has to be one step at a time and I am happy to say that the steps I am taking won't set me back any! In fact, I will be getting rid of debt instead of increasing it! But anyways back the whole "life changing" bit....This decision is something I feel really great about...I actually feel super confident in it and I am not afraid. Yeah there is some anxiety, but it is mainly because last time I was on my own I ended up cutting all my hair, but I am in a much better place now and I am moving in with friends and I won't be a ridiculous distance away from my family. On Friday Barbara and I are going to go look at furniture for our room (we are sharing a room together) and things like that. WAY EXCITED!!!!

School is going really well. I got an A on the first math test and my psychology classes are really interesting and I enjoy being there. Ballroom is absolutely wonderful! BEST. IDEA. EVER. I friggin love dancing! I plan on taking a dance class every semester...it is excersize that I like. Speaking of excersize....Barbara and I are doing P90x....well I start tomorrow hahaha she is two days ahead of me but whatever! We are going to be looking so good by her birthday! We both have this goal and we both have super motivation to get our butt into shape...literally!!!!! Roy Bischoff (my adopted older brother) is getting married in a couple weeks and I am going to his wedding! I am so excited for him!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I plan on playing with Jenny's baby the entire time though lol because Olivia is the cutest thing since baby ducks!

Erica's Birthday went really well, well we actually attended a memorial service for Janet's dad, but than Oscar invited everyone over to Grandma's for an impromptu Empanada party. Seriously that word came out and everyone was like "EMPANADAS?! !(*&#$%^(*@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and than we ate until we could barely function. Empandas are the bomb diggity! We saw the movie I am Number Four...it was....interesting....I mean it was okay but I think I am going to read the book and will probably like it more than the movie. Well I got to get some sleep.