Well I learn something new everyday! Like I learned where some place is hiring and that some people whom I have previously judged as a creep and someone not worth my time turns out to be a pretty decent person once you get past all the bullcrap that surrounds them. I think of it as that one fruit that smells horrible and looks nasty to eat (Starfruit I think it is) but it ends up being really good and tasty. I have gotten to know this person a little better and was surprised to find things out about them that I just didn't know were even there. They really opened up and shared some things with me and it made me realize how un-Christ like I was being in assuming things about them without giving them a fair chance.
I also learned that this town in general is a very judgemental town. Now I knew this before from some experiences I have had, but recently it has become more and more apparent. People out here tend to be superficial, and fake. I would know because I have been one of them and I am working to change that in myself. People look at the past and certain parts of a person and just assume that is how they are like. No one seems to take into account what that person might be like now. I keep portions about my past underwraps, but I wonder what my friends would think or say if they knew what I have done and how I have acted. Would they look at me with different eyes or would they still see me as the girl they all care about? These are things that not even Barbara knows about and I tell her everything! But my point is that I need to change how I treat people. I can't keep falling into the trap of being nice to someone's face and gossiping about them behind their backs. I need to be more honest with how I feel or just not say anything at all to anyone other than myself. Its been weird as I have noticed these things. This kind of attitude is what made me really not like the Church when we first moved out here and now that I myself am doing exactly what others did to me I am disgusted with myself and disappointed. I used to cry at night because I felt like I wasn't going to make any true friends out here and because I felt judged and criticized for how I was living. I always thought "If they are supposed to be the TRUE CHURCH why is it that they aren't very nice to those not in it? Aren't we all God's children?"
The Church is true, some of the people in it are not always true. We are all equal in Heavenly Father's eyes, yet some of us seem to ge the idea into our heads that we are somehow better than everyone, even those who live as we do! I am tired of the politics and the bs that goes on sometimes. Who cares how many callings you have had or where you served or whatever?! In the end we are all ending up in the same place if we obey the commandments and live as we should. I have been re-evaluating my priorities and although the might not be what others would expect I know they are what is right with me and right with Heavenly Father. I know by doing what I need to He will help me, I don't need anyone's approval but His and quite frankly I don't care for anyone's but His anymore!
I am a new me and I LIKE who I am! I am more confident and more willing to be open to people and I have become a whole lot more happier with myself after deciding I don't need to impress anyone. Besides being me is a whole lot more fun.
No comments:
Post a Comment