Random Nadia Facts

I would love to work in the wedding industry one day. Planning weddings and pulling them together is something I have always had an interest in. I don't know what it is abouy them, but good golly they are amazing!!!

I abhor Hummers and Priuses (?). Those cars are abominations in the auto industry. Hummer drivers are buttholes and Prius drivers are environmental buttholes. Seriously people who drive either of those cars can be so nice but once they get in it's like this whole other person drives it. Also they are so poorly made, that they fall apart in an accident while another car would just have a minor scratch. Plastic engines are shit. End. Of. Story.

If you can't tell by previous posts, I am a romantic. I can be a cynic at times, but generally I romanticize EVERYTHING. I am not really gooey about it, but I can greatly appreciate a really fantastically romantic move. In fact I tend to help others plan fantastical romantic gestures, like gestures so epic they belong in movies type of fantastical. I believe everyone deserves romance and love no matter what!

About 90% of what I think remains in my mind. I fear one day everyone will be able to know what I really think and their whole opinion of me will change. There are only a couple of people I am straight up open with and thankfully they haven't run...yet.

If I talk to you, and go out of my way to say something to you, or even better if I engage.physical contact with you that means I on some level respect and accept you. If you touch me and I seem awkward around you that means either the jury is still out on how I feel a vb out you, or I don't really like you but don't want to hurt your feelings. If I don't even aknowledge you that means I really can't stand you or I simply haven't met you yet.

I am ALWAYS in a fantasy world in my mind. If you see me talking to myself from a distance, it is most likely me trying out dialogue for a book idea. Don't ask me abouy it because I most likely am not ready to share it.

I am my own worst critic. Seriously I don't like anything I produce or just do in general even if the general populace loves it. If you try to tell me otherwise I will accept your opinion, but it hardly ever changes mine. I'm probably the mosy insecure person my friends know, but without them even knowing that about me.

This one might be a shock to most who know me, but at times (not all the time) I question whether God exists...well not really that. It is more like whether religion is necessary. I know there is a God and I know He (or she?) loves us, but sometimes I wonder if we overestimate what we must do in order to receive that love. Maybe living at home has rubbed off on me or maybe not going to church is finally taking its toll, but lately I have questioned the validity of the LDS church. I don't deny the good it does, but I feel an irritation at the way I am treated sometimes because I work during church.

I will at least one random facts post a week so look forward to that. More adventures are on their way!

BIKE THIEF!!!!

Someone here in my small town STOLE my mother effin bike...bitches be crazy.

You better believe I filed a police report and I have done the obligatory facebook shoutout with photos and descriptions of the bike. All within 30 minutes if realizing it was missing.

At first I thought my parents had moved it or something since we had rain this week, but imagine my surprise when neither of them had seen it either! Let's just say I went into full "those fuckers stole my bike!" mode and I got a police officer over to fill a report and informed everyone of my stolen bike. Small town like this means someone is bound to see it or find it.

My only hope is that whoever stole it gets a raw deal out of this whole thing. You don't mess with an Alvidrez, you asshole! We know how to get shit done.

As a side note I do apologize for my language. It's been a long week. I know it is no excuse but I don't really care. Also tonight I got to go to dinner with my siblings (minus Erica) and Robert. Is was really nice and the perfect pick-me-up.

Those Damn Coners

If you have been around me for the past few months you will know my vendetta against those who participate in coning. If you don't know what coning is let me explain. Someone (usually a sweaty teenage boy) will go to McDonald's and pay 96¢ just to grab the ice cream part and drive off leaving the workers confused and mainly pissed off. They for some reason have gotten the idea that it is okay and even hilarious.

Let me just say right now it is not funny and will never be. First off who the hell is going to ever think it is alright to disrespect another human being like that? News flash, fast food workers have feelings too! We don't find it funny at all and we actually get really pissed when it happens.

Case in point we have actually banned someone from our store because they were continually coning us. I overheard the young lady talking about it and actually COMPLAINING about how we won't accept her business anymore. Her exact words were "I paid for it, I should be able to do what I want with it." I just about walked over and gave her a what for. That is like saying since you bought a carton of eggs you should be able to throw them at the grocery store you bought them from.

It really gets my goat because this all just boils down to a severe lack of respect for those deemed "beneath" those who are doing the coning. Parents are okay with their children doing this...they lend them the cars or even laugh about it with the child! I don't know about you all, but if I had pulled that crap when I was younger my parents would have been so angry with me. How has society fallen so far? How can parents allow their children to treat others in such a way? Yes, working at McDonald's isn't the most appealling job, but for most of us who work there it is our way of making ends meet. I am a college student and working to pay for school. Mommy and Daddy aren't paying my way. In this economy a job is a job, but what makes it so hard sometimes is how people treat us. Coning is just the tip of the iceberg, but that will be saved for another post.

The world is most certainly a sad place when behaviors like coning are not only accepted but encouraged.

The Scandal!

So this coming tuesday I may end up causing quite a stir at work. Hopefully though it turns out not so...confrontational. I am ready to move on from my current situation and am ready to get my big girl pants on. I know I have gotten as far as I can with my current situation and I am trying to do my best, but I need a challenge. I need a change. It is getting too.....boring. Too routine for me. I live my job, but things has gotta change up and fast.

Today I got a phone call that may very well change everything. I want so bad for a new means to live. I have even been contemplating attending an online school to get a degree or attend a cosmetology school or massage therapy to quickly get a new job to work through school. I am hoping this new enterprise makes things easier to attend church and just live life.

Overall though things are going very well.

Needing Progress

I need a change. It's been building for a bit, but I need it. Barbara and I are discussing moving out and we are looking at places to move in together here in town. Hopefully it all works out and we can find something that will be just great for the two of us. I know we need to move out of our parents' houses and be somewhere we can both grow apart from their judgements. There is a lot we need to workout about ourselves and away from the influences from others. We can share a living space without being a nuisance to each other in that aspect. It would be nice to be in a place with privacy to do homework and spend time with Robert. I miss the days of living in the trailer. We had plenty of alone time.

Speaking of Robert....I find myself wanting progress in that area as well. I love that man, but we are in this kind of a stalemate. Our lives have gotten so seperately busy we hardly see each other in person. Maybe a couple times a week if lucky. Thankfully with school I will get to see him on the ride there and back, but still I miss him. I wish there was a lot more we could do in our relationship. There should be some progress soon. We have been dating for almost two years. That is a long time to be involved as we are without moving forward somehow.

School is moving forward nicely which is great!!!! I can't wait to figure out a new career and soon because I don't wanna be where I am for very much longer. I am patient though so I am not rushing into anything.

Life is good though. So no major complaints.

P90x Day 2

Instead of doing Plyometrics, we did the Cardio X DVD which proved to be just as tiring as plyometrics!!! All that moving and grooving had me sweating and in pain, but hey that's just part of the whole package correct?!

I was able to last the whole time and was able to push myself to complete it at a relatively close to what they were doing pace. Which is impressive for one 70 lbs overweight!!!

I am really excited about this all and I am looking forward to this Friday's weigh in!!! Robert even asked if I had started it and asked how I was doing. Love the support he is giving and I think we are both excited for the results ;)

P90x Day One

Yesterday Barbara and I restarted the P90x program. It was the Shoulders and Arms DVD and let me tell you it was fantastic. I was kind of wimpy and started out with 5lb weights, but I am going to ramp them up just a bit as time goes on.

I am hoping to lose weight and get into shape, not necessarily build muscle. I am also going to supplement the workouts with my new vegetarian diet (I will occasionally eat chicken or fish) and with walking or riding my bike. I'm most likely going to be in pain for awhile, but it is going to be worth it.

I weigh 210 lbs right now (I have gained weight this past week) and my goal is to be down to 140 lbs. That's 70 lbs. I know I am not going to lose it all, but even if I get down to 160 that will be great!!!

To track progress I am going to post reviews of the excercise and even photos. I figure it will be a good way to ensure I actually stick with it!

As for now though all I can say is my shoulders feel great! I was surprised I could do all the reps and managed to keep up nicely with the video. Yay me!!!

I Struggle.

There is a lot of confusion in my life right now in regards to my spirituality and my place in this world. While I am not trying to figure it all out at once, I am really confused about my purpose and what I want to do with my life. I struggle most with my faith and where I stand as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (LDS). If you have read my blog you can pretty much document this ongoing and conflicting struggle between my faith and the rest of my person. I believe the church is true. I love the feeling I get when I read from the scriptures and when I am learning from the Bible and the B.O.M. Every time I am able to attend church or institute I am happy and filled with this peace, but I can't really stand a lot of the people I go with.

I know it is where I currently am that is the problem and not so much the church itself, but it is often hard to remember that outside of this valley members are actually pretty decent. Of course I am not perfect and I try not to come across that way. Heavenly Father is well aware of my faults and I am very well aware of them as well. The fact that I have acknowledged on this blog (and recently) that I have broken several commandments and own up to it is I think a big step; but my goal in sharing that isn't some weird way of repenting. I just have this odd open door policy with this blog. I know what I have done isn't the greatest, but what I struggle with is the fact that I don't neccessarily feel guilty about it. I do regret drinking since I have yet to have that great of an end to those evenings, but the going and doing isn't what I would take back...just the quantity.

Reading this I suppose I would be considered a Jack Mormon (as much as I detest that word). If I was a Molly I would probably faint in shock from reading this, but luckily I am jaded enough to not be shocked with my behavior. I take responsibility for my actions and I do not blane any specific person or people for my going inactive. I am trying to stay afloat and lately have been taking steps to get slightly more involved. I have been a member for four years and in that time I have hit some spiritual highs and deep deep lows. All through it though I have kept a testimony. To some that may not mean anything, but to me it means the world.

I am doing what I can and that is all that matters right now. Baby steps. Small baby steps, but steps nevertheless.

Oh those Nights!

This photo is now the wallpaper on my tablet. Partially because let's face it that guy (Mias is his name) is HAWT for a cartoon and I also have left it as a reminder that I do random shit while drunk. Hopefully I can remember to turn my tablet off BEFORE going out in order to avoid any other shenanigans.

I guess with this post another cat is out of the bag. I have gone out with coworkers a couple times now to one of the local bars. This last time I had a total of 6 drinks...well one drink 5 shots, but to be completely honest I do not believe I was that completely drunk since I remember EVERYTHING and managed to not be hungover the next day. Of course I did throw up, but that was the combination of a hot dog and jalapeno cheese bread I had consumed.

This new year is kind of showing me different aspects of myself that I didn't really know existed. It is both exciting and terrifying.

The Suspense!

I am officially a week late for my period. Today I did the math and if I go off when I last boogied I would be around 6 weeks. Early enough for no symptoms, but the test I took was negative. I talked to the girls at work who have had kids and they said it was around 8 weeks or so that they started feeling icky. Idk what to think or do. If by wednesday I haven't started my period I will take another test, but if that comes back negative or even positive I am hauling my butt to the doctor and getting my blood checked out!

I need to get work done for my meds anyways so it will be killing two birds with one stone right? I am trying not to spaz out here but the suspense is killing me!  I am going to write a different post spelling out exactly the conflict that is going on right now within me. But for now I am content to say that paranoia is settling in.

Relief

Well the big event came and went and that blessed little pink line showed up alone. Still no sign of my missing friend, but at least I know that for now it is a negative. Of course if in a few days I have yet to receive my visit we will find ourselves fretting again.

For now though all I can feel is relief.

Hello In There

On Tuesday evening I realized that I was late for my period by about 3 days...two days later and still no sign of Aunt Flo. I don't know what to think really, but I have had this nagging feeling all day. Luckily for me I have a really good friend named Barbara who is kind enough to help me out through this. We are going to make the trek to Mesquite to buy a HPT to see if there is anyone growing inside my womb. It is kinda...yeah.
I would be lying if I said I wasn't balls to the wall scared right now. Not so much about everyone knowing Robert and I have had sex, but more of the fact that I could be actually creating life within me. I mean seriously every bad food or drink choice this past month is now flooding into my mind and on top of that my anti-depressants run the risk of birth defects! it has been just over a month since we last did the deed and I don't have any other symptoms other than my missing friend, but to the girl who is regular like clockwork every month, being five days late is cause for major alarm!! Needless to say I have been reading all sorts of articles and trying to tell myself that I couldn't possibly be pregnant.
Naturally I will be posting the findings later today since I have a "no secrets" policy with you my blog followers. I do ask though that if you are reading this that you don't judge me for any of this. I may be scared, but in a way I am strangely calm about all of this. Yes it would be an "oops" baby, but I will still love the little crumb snatcher with all I can give. Hopefully whatever the outcome, life will continue to be as blessed as it has been lately.

2012

This new year I have not made any resolutions except to keep going down the path that I am already traveling. My life is good and I am in a happy place. I am growing up and learning the lessons I need to learn. I used to think I knew it all and I could do it all, but I am learning what is important and how to get my priorities straight.
Tonight for the first time I socialized with coworkers...more like friends...outside of the work setting. I made memories and I am happy for it. Yes, there was drinking involved, but you know what? I am comfortable with that. I am learning slowly who I am and how to accept that and to ignore the pressures of others. That is the true path to happiness right? I have taken control and am back on the track that I want to be on.
There has been a lot of self reflecting and I have been considering where I want to be in five years and I have decided that I would like to look into getting my teaching degree for science..well biology to be specific. Even if it just so I can teach and go to night school that would be fine for me. There is a lot I want to accomplish, but 2011 has shown me the importance of facing reality.
I love all that this past year alone has taught me and in looking back I can see how much I have learned and how much I have accomplished and as I fall asleep tonight it will be with a smile on my face.
...and not because I am drunk.