Why is it that I will post something on my blog and than a little while later it seems to translate into real life? Honestly my last post really was just a random creative writing thing, but noooooo life had to go and actually creat a dark and confusing mess that makes me actually want to go and destroy someone, but at the same time I can't destroy them because a part of me (in a very sick way mind you) actually enjoyed what happened.
A "friend" who has spent the last few months treating me horribly texted me yesterday after they got to thinking about our friendship and guess what they decided...They "decided" we could be friends after all, that they would be a brilliant friend to me after months of me trying to salvage our friendship and them taking advantage of the fact that I have always been a overly decent person to them. NOTHING I have done made them decide....noooo not when I stuck by them when others bascially wanted to shun them. I made people support them while they were out on their own and I wouldn't and won't let anyone bad mouth them....but what was the deciding factor might you ask? He was at a fireside where the speaker said something about trials and what we make of them so naturally this person started talking to me.
I have been slowly letting go of this person because it really hurt too much to reach out to them just to have them slap my kindness back into my face continually. It was like helping someone up the ladder of success just to have them kick you back down to the bottom wrung and than they ask you to help them when they get stuck so you ahve to climb all the way back up just to be kicked down again. Now I am not a martyr, more like an idiot for doing that, but I would help any friend to my best extent. I don't take it lightly when someone who is supposed to be my friend spits on our friendship and than just decides one day they want to be a true friend. It isn't that simple with me and I told them that. I am not one to make people earn my friendship but than again I have never really had someone do what this person has done.
The whole point of this is that I am now confused and angry and crying a whole lot more because they went and decided to open a can of worms that they knew they shouldn't have. IDK but I am pretty sure this whole thing is not going to be done until another friend of ours gets home. That is all I am going to say.
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