Weird

I feel so weird lately... Like I am floating above everything and just can't seem to come back down to Earth. I am moving to Nevada this week and I have to find a job which is most likely going to be pretty hard. Also I will start working on getting better. *sigh* sometimes I wonder if recovery is even possible, but I just know that it won't be if I think it is completely hopeless. I am going to be applying to places in Vegas, Mesquite, and St. George...hopefully I find one soon.
Sort of talked with Colton tonight but things are still weird..I don't know what is going on with him, but things are just...I just have a feeling that there are a lot of unsaid things between us. He was supposed to be there for me like I was for him you know? That is what friends do, but lately I don't even hear from him and the sad thing is that I just stopped trying. I thought maybe if I stopped forcing conversation that he would actually let me know he wanted to be my friend, but idk I guess he really doesn't. Oh well.
I wrote Jaren a letter the other day and boy was it a long one hahahaha I forgot how much I enjoyed talking with him and how much we would tell each other! I haven't heard from him, but I had agreed to write so I am going to uphold that promise. He is a good guy and a great friend and an even better missionary!

I am going to stop now...haven't bene feeling well the past few days. Goodnight all!