I am working on paying off some debts that I have financially. I have payed when I could and have been trying hard not to create any new debt. Through all of the things I have been stuggling with I still feel this overwhelming urge to serve a mission. I have mainly been depressed lately because I had hoped and really planned on being gone by my birthday or at least within a few weeks of leaving, but I am not. Don't get me wrong I am incredibly happy, but I know I am going to regret not going. I don't regret anything I have done or experienced these past few months and I definitely don't regret getting into a relationship with Robert.
I suppose this is why I am torn. I have this urge and desire to go, but at the same time I don't think I can leave what I have behind.
This is very perplexing and does not make for good sleeping...
...but I think we all know that I am going to remain on this current path for now. Can't dream big until i fix the financial mess I am in.
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