I don't want my problems to become everyone's....so...they win. I will go and do the minimum. I won't pretend I want to be there or that I evne care anymore, but it will be easier than seeing those around me suffer. I would rather suffer myself than to subject others to deal with it. Don't be surprised though if I take off in a few months or so because I won't be able to be out here long without breaking. I did tonight. I was bawling my eyes out as I told Robert everything was okay and that I wasn't emotional about anything we talked about. I told my parents I was fine and that I would do this for a bit and see what happens. Meanwhile inside I was dying. I am a beaten animal people. Resigned to the life that is set up for me. I refuse though to change what I have done because I do not regret any of my actions. It is not for them to decide that I am anything less than what I am just because I may have broken a rule or two. I may be playing nice but it isn't going to last long.
Latley I feel like....empty.
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