Seriously I need to find a place to frolick where interruptions by intruders are sooooo not happening. Yes people I need this place. Anyone know of one?
So I wrote this weird piece of poetry/ song that has actually been a bit of therapy for me on a lot of things. It in no way is actually how I feel now, but at one point I know that it did represent who I was. So without further ado here it is!
TURNING INTO YOU
You left me standing there with my heart torn into pieces.
He came and said " Don't cry, you deserve so much more than that guy."
He tried, so hard to mend my broken heart.
So I went and let him in, I thought we were over, but I know better.
He wants me, he needs me, but I can't let go of you.
I tried, almost died, now all I do is lie.
Don't want to destroy him, but in the end all I'll do is hurt him.
I'm turning into you.
I wake in the dark of night from a dream so deep and restless.
I'm shaking as I cry, wishing you were back by my side.
He tries, so hard, to ease my restless heart.
But I can't just let him in. I know that we're not over.
So I know better.
He wants me, he needs me, but I won't let go of you.
I tried, almost died, now done with all these lies.
Didn't want to destroy him, but in the end all I did was hurt him.
I've turned into you.
Yeah it is a bit rough, but I enjoyed writing it. I am also working on my book again... I have to get a memory stick in order to put all my work on it since it take up such a chunk of my computer memory! HAHAHAHA I know! Oddly enough my book helped me in ways that months and months of therapy never could. Of course I never did talk to anyone about what I went through during the time before I wrote the book, but those who know me know what I am talking about...okay actually mainly Barbara. Let me explain now. I was in a really commited relationship with this guy and he broke things off....I have actually written about him previously, but anyways I was in this really dark deep place after that, and of all the times I had inspiration to write and write I did! I mean I had my outline of my book down and a very very VERY rough rough draft of it done within a few weeks or so. I based my characters off of people (very loosely based) and situations. I tweaked a lot and added a lot, but essentially I was working through a lot of my thoughts and feelings and putting it down on paper. The result has been my book. I am changing character names though and some other things, but it is staying the same for the most part.
I believe writing is a form of therapy. The best books are the ones that make you feel like you are winning and losing with the characters. You feel their pain, and in fact the characters are their own entities, not just some random scribblings on a page! I feel better when I am writing for my characters, creating life for them and seeing them succeed and fail and grow. I personally put a bit of myself into each of my characters, they are my babies...even the "villains" are a part of me. I only hope that as I work on this and *fingers crossed* eventually get it published, that you all love them and enjoy my stories as much as I do!
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