Four and a Half

Months...four and a half months....that's all I have before he gets here. The villian of my dreams, the first guy who made me believe in love, the one who got me to open and trust...he comes home...to my valley...in four and a half months. I didn't think much of it, but last night I had a dream where I CHEATED ON ROBERT WITH HIM....it was just a dream...but I woke up feeling guilty. I normally don't feel anything after waking up, but I had to convince myself that it was a dream. Robert had his own saucy dream where he cheated on me which was weird that our dreams kinda linked up in the same night but yeah anyways back to my dilemma. I am pretty sure nothing is going to happen when he gets home. No I KNOW nothing will happen when he gets home....BUUUUUUUT something keeps nagging me telling me that I just might be wrong. Normally I don't really listen to that nagging voice, but something keeps giving me the feeling that I should. It's weird because I haven't really payed him any mind and now that we are just a few short months (which btw time has been FLYING!) away from a reunion....I am just not sure how I feel about that. I mean we were tight before he left. We talked everyday and we wrote for a bit and than no communication really, but I know its going to be hard to not talk to him again like we used to. I mean we talked about everything and anything and it was basically all day too. I told him about Robert and I dating and I have written every once in awhile giving an update and stuff on things going down. Part of me doesn't want to fully let go, but a big part of me is investing myself into the relationship I have with Robert. I know four months is a "long time" but in reality it isn't. I mean it's been two years and I look back on it and think "where did the time go?" The next four months are going to be interesting. If only I could get a letter or something to at least know what he is thinking. That is what makes this all such a stupid situation.

Oh and my mom says that our dreams just mean we need to get it done with because apparently we are just too sexually frustrated bahahahahaha....so she gave us the greenlight to have sex....wtf? I am not a mom or anything but I am pretty sure that is NOT in the Mom Handbook and is probably on the list of "do not allow" but whatever!