I now know what pimples and zits feel like when they get squeezed and squeezed until they pop. Yeah pretty graphic, but that is how I have been feeling lately. I have been trying to just sit idly by and be as unnoticed as possible in something and today just made me realize that the popping of the Nadia Zit is commencing.
I got a phone call today from someone looking for me because they haven't seen me somewhere in awhile. I haven't been to this one place in about...hmmm...maybe four months or so? And apparently I am greatly missed and that people are "concerned". WTF? I am still alive and I have seen people so they KNOW I am doing okay. Doesn't everyone know I am at school or at work these days? Sheesh. But anyways I get home and I tell my parents about the phone call and they start telling me about how to make those calls stop. They even offered (well my stepdad did) to write a letter for me. Needless to say I burst out crying and left the room.
All this stress is wigging me out so I decided to rearrange my room and TADA I have sooo much more space in here now! I mean seriously my room looks a whole lot bigger hahaha and all I did was move the bed and the dresser! But now I have room to workout in here as well as have my sewing machine! I am pretty excited about it and I feel really accomplished! OMG I hear an OWL outside of my room. Who the fudge knew Owls were in Nevada?! I mean we do have turkeys and a beaver so why not I guess! LOL
Anyways though I have been pretty depressed lately about my situation. I don't know what to do or what would be right. No matter what I decide there are a lot of people who are going to get hurt and I can't and don't want to be responsible for anyone being hurt, but I know that I can't just continue to do nothing for very much longer. Eventually all this pressure will build up to where it will push me to decide. The problem is I don't really know which direction to go. On the one hand I have a lot more doors open to me if I choose to stay, but on the other hand I won't have to deal with the drama that occured this past summer. IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK IDK about anything. Can I just crawl under a rock and disappear?
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